was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
