i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
