I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
