playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
