please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize