The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
