Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize