why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
