1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
420 ftw
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
