Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
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