Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
