So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
