dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
