everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
