i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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