i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
