I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
