there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize