i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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