Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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