: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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