Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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