god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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