in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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