I'm gonna have a badass scar
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
