Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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