they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
