Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
