your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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