so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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