please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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