my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
