If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
now i know why i became what i already was.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
