Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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