The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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