I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
