It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
