We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
