We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
