I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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