Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Randomize
