nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
