I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
