I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
