dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Damn victory sex feels great
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
