sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
