Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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