Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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