I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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