why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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