i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
