He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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