I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
