Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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