we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
