i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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