brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize