Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
