critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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