So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
