i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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