i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
