apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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